Friends - Writing vs Non-Writing
I have two distinctive sets of friends - Writer and Non-Writers.
The writer friends are either published (NY, Print or Epubbed), seeking publication, editors or reviewers. Now my non-writer friends most don’t know I write and if they do they don’t know my pen name or what I write. So they don’t necessarily understand when I say I can’t or won’t go to the newest club or some party because I have things to do, other plans or have to write.
I could explain the reasons why, why it’s so important to me, why I keep doing it though it seems like I’m getting nowhere, why I love it even though I get frustrated, why I’ve tried to quit and keep going back. But it seems like more hassle than it’s worth sometimes. They don’t and may never get it.
The ones who know I write and know about my last release think I should be sitting on stacks and treating them to lunch, dinner, shopping or whatever.
I tried explaining the publishing industry and that it’s very competitive and slow but that just brings out the bored blank stare. And as a recent topic on RD said, sometimes having to explain news - however insignificant - takes some of the shine off of it.
So I don’t talk about my writing with them. That’s what my writer friends are for.
They understand the joy, love and frustrations of writing. I can vent about characters or plot or the words not flowing and they get it. They understand getting a request for a partial or a full from an editor or an agent. They undersand (though may be frustrated and what to share/celebrate with you) when you have good news, great news but don’t want to say to much cause you don’t want to jump the gun or jinx anything (Hint Hint). And writer’s (some of us) can be a bit superstitious.
Which is wonderful to have someone who knows, has been there and understands. They also hold me accountable and make sure I write. They understand the hard work, sweat and even tears but also celebrate word counts, requests and sales. Offer hugs and cyber chocolate on rejections and not so good reviews.
But I still need non-writer friends because one they do get me to take a break and clear my head - even if they don’t realize it.
It’s taken me the better part of two years to get my mom to understand that it’s not like walking in with a resume and getting the job. It takes years (in most cases) to get the “job”.
I have a few friends who are non-writer, but the majority are writers or from the industry.
I don’t have a lot of non-writer friends (they are just neighbors and writing rarely come up unless they want to know if I’m published yet *eye roll* — like I’d be hiding it if I was), but my family definitely falls under this category.
They mean well when they ask how’s it going, but I find it frustrating because they don’t understand. One aunt and uncle are famous for asking if I finished the book yet–as if once I do it will immediately be published and in stores. I hate having to explain it isn’t simple. I could spend a decade trying to get published.
When I shared my placing in the Stiletto contest last year (’cause I was thrilled), I got a lot of, “so what does this mean? do you get published? what do you win?” *sigh* It’s so hard. Thank God for RD.
Jennifer Bianco’s last blog post..Technorati
I don’t tend to say much about my writing to non writer friends even though they all know that I write. They really just don’t ‘get’ it.
i have nonwriter friends who know i write, and nonwriter friends who don’t. those are the 2 distinct camps for me. my writer friends are all virtual. my friends who know are full of interest and support, so i’m lucky like that.
I write therefore I am. Maybe we should get matching t-shirts?
I completely understand. Just the other day my mum asked me about coming over this weekend and I had to tell her I couldn’t, I was still trying to edit the book, and she said, “I thought you told me you finished the book last month!”
LOL. I said to her, “Yeah, but manuscripts and stories are like potato chips, ma. You can’t have just one!”
Writer friends are crucial to a fellow writer’s sanity. Non-writer friends are good too, though. They make sure to dust off the cobwebs around your feet and always carry a mirror to put under your mouth…just to check. rofl.
((hugs)) from a fellow writer.
Cassandra Curtis’s last blog post..Very Happy to Announce…
I imagine it’s like that for a lot of us writers. Last time I talked to my parents, the told me I sounded like I was picking up the midwest accent. …Really? I don’t talk to anyone! LOL.
I do have non-writer friends, but since the move, I’ve invested much less time in making more. It’s hard and time consuming…and I like being at home.
Oh man, all my friends are online!!! I’m a loser! How did this happen?!
Bethanne’s last blog post..The Vagaries of Writing
I’m very lucky that my friends, even my non-writing ones, like to hear about me talk writing.
But even my non-writing ones are eclectic weirdoes like myself.
I totally understand what you’re saying. I have nothing else to add, but that I’ve totally been there. Good thing we have each-other, right?
(my word is wine!)
I understand what you mean. Only problem is that I have more non-writer friends than writer friends which means that explaining the royalties, the subs, requests etc is a bit like pulling teeth. It’s to the point where they don’t ask. and I don’t volunteer.
That’s why I love groups like RD - they understand!
Patricia’s last blog post..Pro-active means success
Most of my non-writing friend have a basic understanding of what it takes so I don’t have to rehash things so much. My mom, however, appears to be a lost cause. Sigh.